Two weeks into summer my kids fall into a daily squabble over some piece of technology.
It's my turn on IT
But I'm using IT
But I need IT to go to Friend's house!
But I need IT because I'm alone and you have a Friend!
But Friend is playing with his IT!
It's not FAIR you have a Friend and IT!
My turn!
MY TURN!
So much for technology distracting children and allowing me to stare at the floor, look for a rogue hamster hiding in this house. So much for watching competitive cooking shows and wondering peacefully where Gordon Ramsey is now and thankful he is not here, not yelling at me. Yelling hurts hurts hearts.
I can't tune the children out any longer.
Give IT to me!
They both protest "Nooooooo! We will work it out!"
I have a few minutes left in a show where a pageant show where this mom of twins complains how only one of her daughters has a personality. She gives the bubbly daughter a cute sheep for the my-pet-and-me part, and gives the sullen daughter a big fat turkey. Neither of her daughters win that part anyway; the springy girl with her snake won. Now I want to see who wins Grand Supreme.
It's my turn on IT
But I'm using IT
But I need IT to go to Friend's house!
But I need IT because I'm alone and you have a Friend!
But Friend is playing with his IT!
It's not FAIR you have a Friend and IT!
My turn!
MY TURN!
So much for technology distracting children and allowing me to stare at the floor, look for a rogue hamster hiding in this house. So much for watching competitive cooking shows and wondering peacefully where Gordon Ramsey is now and thankful he is not here, not yelling at me. Yelling hurts hurts hearts.
I can't tune the children out any longer.
Give IT to me!
They both protest "Nooooooo! We will work it out!"
I have a few minutes left in a show where a pageant show where this mom of twins complains how only one of her daughters has a personality. She gives the bubbly daughter a cute sheep for the my-pet-and-me part, and gives the sullen daughter a big fat turkey. Neither of her daughters win that part anyway; the springy girl with her snake won. Now I want to see who wins Grand Supreme.
It's my turn on IT
But I'm using IT
But I need IT to go to Friend's house!
But I need IT because I'm alone and you have a Friend!
But Friend is playing with his IT!
It's not FAIR you have a Friend and IT!
My turn!
MY TURN!
The girl who wins wasn't one featured on the show. I turn the TV off and although the kids are far across the long living room, they notice and go quiet.
We are getting out of here, I command. Five minutes, get dressed.
Where are we going, one asks, as though to weigh my offer against a better offer and leverage me for money or something. The other kid runs for shoes.
I don't know, I tell them both, just out of here and away from IT and from these walls!
As we gather for the car one asks Can I bring IT in the car? and the other joins in YES we will SHARE IT!
I know better. Get in the CAR.
I drive heading nowhere, thinking that even to drive to Georgia and then turn around while playing good music will be a worthy adventure.
But on the way we pass Goodwill. The Good One. So we decide to go in. The kids go looking for toys, I go through the purses, admiring the rainbow of leather and nylon and faux snake skin prints.
Over there is a barrel with tall things grouped together: walking canes and rolls of wrapping paper. Down there is the linens, and here are the books.
Zoe stays in the book section for awhile and happily finds the next five books in the series she is reading about Really Bitchy Girls who wear Very Expensive Clothes who turn out to not be that Bitchy or Rich After All.
I find a bin of flatwear. I never have enough forks or spoons. I don't know whether I lose them or whether I never had that many to begin with, but I'm always hunting for one. The were 4 for 99 cents. I found serving spoons and teaspoons and soup spoons and cocktail forks and salad forks and one menacing pitchfork I put back only to save my son from falling into it's silver sharp charms.
Zack finds a bin of cards that he is collecting. He's happy. Zoe has her books. She's happy. I hold my handful of silverish flatwear up like a bouquet, and also like the Statue of Liberty. The kids giggle.
We meander through the furniture, past an orphaned Pasta Maker and several dusty square TVs. I go off to the dresses and the kids follow a minute behind.
Enough? I ask and they nod, ready to go home and dive into their treasures.
I pay happily and we head out.
Mom? Zoe asks as we slide out of the June heat and into the car, Since when did Goodwill start selling sex toys?
I am silent. I manage not to crash my car, which in itself is a feat that comes from years of training.
Her brother corroborates it. Yes! Yes we saw one!
I shake my head, not to shut them up but to tune them out, like shaking warm water out of your ear after swimming at the beach.
It was called the Sonic Boom, she tells me, and I nod my head in silence, not agreeing, not disagreeing, but definitely deciding to go back without the kids and do a more thorough job treasure hunting at Goodwill.
