This has been a rough year for Zack in school. The roughest part was when we just didn't know what was wrong; after we found out, it didn't get easier, but it became more understandable and maybe the tiniest bit less overwhelming.
After a months of trying this and then that and taking this away and earning that thing back and cancelling that entirely while pushing a little this way and pulling that way, it is finally happening: He going to school, all day, several days in a row, bravely acing makeup work, taking exams, distributing candy, making plans and doing normal 6th grade things. Fantastic.
The next week is another animal entirely, and instead of building on success we start from zero. Nothing works, he can't go to school, he doesn't feel good, he hurts, the pain is real and no amount of pushing or pulling will get him out the door. The next day is minimally better, the day after that was not much better but it was something. Then I found out what the source of his torture was: a history test.
A History test? This is awesome, we got this, I get his backpack, pull out his study guide and say "let's do this, let's face this" but he can't, he can't and I let it go.
But then I don't really let it go, because I'm the mom. I'm not supposed to let it go. So I don't.
Again, even though I'm tired of all this, I take away his this and limit use of that, push and pull using other bits and pieces in my mom arsenal, and create a situation where really his only option to get any single thing in life was to study for this history test.
So he does.
And while I'm putting away dishes he comes out and decides to start quizzing me.
I'm like, bring it, and he's like "no joke, this is the hardest test ever, this stuff is nonsense."
But I'm not scared, it's just a 6th grade history test. I remind him I have a PhD in this.
He doubts me anyway and asks questions. I get them right. It goes like this:
His esteem of me appears to increase by a bazillion points -- I'm now maybe almost as smart as his sister in his world.
He puts his study guide away and asks, sincerely flabbergasted, MOM How did you LEARN all this?
After a months of trying this and then that and taking this away and earning that thing back and cancelling that entirely while pushing a little this way and pulling that way, it is finally happening: He going to school, all day, several days in a row, bravely acing makeup work, taking exams, distributing candy, making plans and doing normal 6th grade things. Fantastic.
The next week is another animal entirely, and instead of building on success we start from zero. Nothing works, he can't go to school, he doesn't feel good, he hurts, the pain is real and no amount of pushing or pulling will get him out the door. The next day is minimally better, the day after that was not much better but it was something. Then I found out what the source of his torture was: a history test.
A History test? This is awesome, we got this, I get his backpack, pull out his study guide and say "let's do this, let's face this" but he can't, he can't and I let it go.
But then I don't really let it go, because I'm the mom. I'm not supposed to let it go. So I don't.
Again, even though I'm tired of all this, I take away his this and limit use of that, push and pull using other bits and pieces in my mom arsenal, and create a situation where really his only option to get any single thing in life was to study for this history test.
So he does.
And while I'm putting away dishes he comes out and decides to start quizzing me.
I'm like, bring it, and he's like "no joke, this is the hardest test ever, this stuff is nonsense."
But I'm not scared, it's just a 6th grade history test. I remind him I have a PhD in this.
He doubts me anyway and asks questions. I get them right. It goes like this:
- Orinoco
- Cuzco
- Toltec
- Inuit
Mom! How do you KNOW all this???
Me: I literally teach this in college. You know this and yet you don't, which is very confusing. Keep going. More questions, please, this is heaven.
He nods his head, like "wow" then continues with the questions. I continue to get every freaking one right without hesitating.
- descended from gods
- the wheel
- burial mounds
- Bering
- shells
- trade
- Maya
- Tenochilan
- Teotihuacan
- Olmec
- Apache
- 10%
- horses
- Iroquois League
- Sierra Nevada
His esteem of me appears to increase by a bazillion points -- I'm now maybe almost as smart as his sister in his world.
He puts his study guide away and asks, sincerely flabbergasted, MOM How did you LEARN all this?
Me: Books.
Him: BOOKS????
Me: Yes, books. (I point at the books above his head, the books on the bookcase, the books over there and there and there). This is the stuff that is in all those books.
Him: Books. Wow...... (....and then walks away, off to his room because now he has earned this and that back, at least until 9pm).
The next day he makes it through school without a bump and earns an A on his history exam, probably never considering that maybe just maybe I looked over every single answer on his study guide before he even started studying it, just to make sure they were all correct because I'm his mom and that's what moms do.
