Friday, November 18, 2016

Back it Up

I am driving Zoe to something important, something so important that she doesn't want to get there early.

Fine, we leave with JUST enough time and in a few miles find ourselves on a winding bumpy rocky
 dirt road as the last light of the day ends.

She reads a text from a friend who has already arrived at the event "there's a bridge" and then ahead of us we see a narrow wooden bridge and cross it.  

Another car comes towards us right after I cross the bridge and I panic a little because there is nowhere to pull over since the sides of the dirt road slide down to roots and moss.

There must be another way out, I say to Zoe.

There has to be another way out, she repeats to me.

A few hundred yards later another car comes towards me and we barely make it past each other.  

There must be another way out, I say to Zoe, more as a question this time

There has to be another way out, she repeats to me, knowing I'm about to freak out.

Another mile of winding bumps and we arrive at a house full of liveliness. 

Zoe ditches me and I look for another way out and can't find one.  

That's OK, I tell myself. Everyone who's coming is already here, it's OK.

So I turn my car around and head back, racing off to get Zack's pizza which was ready 30 minutes ago.  I'm sure I will be OK, I'm just sure. 

I fiddle with the radio and fall into peace for about one full glorious minute.

And then I see a truck coming towards me. 

I pull as far to the right as I can, but it is dark and I don't want to fall into the ditch. 

I move up an inch, over an inch.

She pulls far over and inches towards me.

We pull our driver's side windows in and she gets out of her  to guide me.  

 Her daughter stands on the side by the ditch lighting the path with her iPhone camera.

 I go up an inch. She says stop. I almost cry. 

I go over another inch. She says stop. I almost cry again.

Meanwhile another car lines up behind her truck facing me down.

Then another car and another and please dear Jesus I don't know what to do because there are seven cars facing me and I'm stuck on a dirt road in the dark. 

All I can think is that I want someone to rescue me. 

Please.  Please rescue me.

PLEASE PLEASE BEFORE I CRY, today is THE DAY to show and RESCUE ME.

More than ANYTHING want someone to fall from the sky and appear in my car and rescue me right now. NOW. PLEASE.

I try to picture what someone would do to rescue me, and then I know.

I imagine some badass guy jumping in my car, taking the steering wheel, turning around and confidently backing the car up all the way back to that house.  

No badass guy arrives so I tell the woman who had been helping me that I would back up and follow her. 

She goes ahead and I back up ten yards, zig zagging over roots. 

She goes more and more  ahead on the narrow dirt road and then her headlights turn a corner and its so dim that I can't see more than a few feet behind me. 

I want to stop, I want to quit. 

I want to not have come this way today at all.

 But its too late. I'm in the dark, there is only one way through this. 

I take another deep breath and back it up slowly,  little to the left (but turn the wheel right) straight and then sharply to the right (but turn wheel left) my brain and stomach hurt but I keep going like the badass I hoped would rescue me.