Four Days in Cienfuegos

It is with a heavy heart that I share the passing of Mario Valladares (Cienfuegos, Cuba), husband of Mila Polo (Cienfuegos, Cuba), father to Joelvys (Las Vegas, NV) and Mayulis (Cienfuegos, Cuba), grandfather to Xavier (Cienfuegos, Cuba). 

In Mario's memory, I've made Four Days in Cienfuegos free on Kindle for the next few days. I hope you will send your prayers and thoughts to the Polo-Valladares family.

http://www.amazon.com/Four-Days-Cienfuegos-Adventure-Granddaughter-ebook/dp/B00AWPWOKW

 If there hadn't have been an iron curtain embargo separating us, we would've had forty years of feasts and laughter and weddings and funerals instead of four days together.   There should've been more pictures, more stories.   Maybe these new changes between the US and Cuba will let the real healing begin. 

Book #107: ON KILLING: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman (1995).

ON KILLING: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman (1995).

 I asked my college  students to assign me books I wouldn't find on my own, and so here it is. The absolutely very  last book I would ever had picked up,  assigned to me by a particularly intense student-veteran filled with  harsh facts about about how killing people affects the people who kill them. 

 Reading this book written by a former army Ranger and psychology professor at West Point was like staring at the sun too long on a dare.  

The pages cut me invisibly, leaving scars I can't stop picking at.

Killing isn't an easy subject to shake, and it's equally impossible to walk away from.

I've carried around for almost a week, reading pages here, there, then swatting away the sadness that comes with the knowledge laid out so scientifically in this brilliant, mechanically precise and compelling monograph.

I refuse to summarize this book for you.  If you know me, you know I read every page and every word. The look in my eye, my edgy demeanor this week, both betray me.

This book is important, powerful and a  must read.

Book #106: Gone Girl

Yes, yes, yes. This is a great book. The writing is spectacular. The story is tight. The narrative is compelling and mesmerizing.

 I would've read the book in about three hours if I didn't have to drive Zoe around and also have to deal with her asking me repeatedly "did I get to the part with Desi YET?' and "Do you WANT me to tell you how it ends? Yes? No? YES? no? YES???"

Now that I finished this book I totally want to ruin it for you. But I won't.

Go read it, and don't let anyone spoil the ending.

Book #105: Cracked Up to Be

The student who assigned me this book refused to lend me hers because she said it's too precious.

She ordered me my own copy then made sure I'd give it back so she could pass it on. It sounded ridiculously tempting so I moved it up on my book list in front of the much thicker "Gone Girl" I'm still waiting to read.

The book opens in chaos.

 The main character is angry, lost former cheerleader dealing with issues at home and at school. She has a bitchy sharp tongue and at first I didn't love her, so  I didn't understand her, and I couldn't really get into this book.

Then I saw what was happening. Or rather, I felt it, like I was riding through a roller coaster.

The author started the story at ground zero then teased the readers back a little then a little more. Something happened. Something horrible. Was it this? That? I didn't know the book was a mystery until the moment it exploded at me.

 Excellent. I've already passed the book to my daughter and I definitely proclaim it as good as Pretty Little Liars.

Next up: Gone Girl. Or have I mentioned that already?

Book #104: Hurt Go Happy

This semester I decided to continue my 100 book journey, even though I've technically passed 100 and I'm aiming at 150ish now. I have stacks and stacks of books to read, and no, I don't intend to ever stop reading and learning and growing. Enough about me, back to the books.

Book #104 was assigned to me by the same student who assigned me a great book last semester.

 She's a high performing, no-excuses, front row student, so I expected her book to be pretty good.

Besides that, on the day that she handed me the book, she ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook and pointed at me then wrote "Read this FIRST this book is GOOD."

Fine, OK, I wanted to read Gone Girl first, but OK, I promised her right then that as soon as i was ready to start reading again (which I knew would be ANY MINUTE, just as soon as I recovered from my House of Cards binge) I would read it FIRST.

She nodded "good" then turned to her ASL interpreter and told her that I would be passing the book to HER next, because she needed to read it to.

I finally turned off the Netflix and curled up with books. I'm so so thankful for this book because it represents what I hope for in this journey - it's a book I would NEVER have picked on my own because it is very very G rated and written for a younger audience.  Ten pages into this tale about a
 lonely tween girl who meets an ASL fluent chimpanzee I soaked up the  rich details about the daily frustrations the young girl faced because her mother wouldn't let her learn ASL out of fear that it would make her "look different."

A chance meeting with an older man who speaks ASL and has a sugar butt ASL fluent chimpanzee changes her destiny as he uses his resources and knowledge to advocate for her, open her world and  turn this into a Horatio Alger-esque fairy tale.

Laughing Yoga Frog Q&A: Is this Book Related to Marvin's Book?

1. To what store did the professor first encounter the frog? How many times did she return to lookOption 1: Part 1

at it? The professor visited Cracker Barrel three times before actually purchasing the Frog. Iguess 50% off just wasn’t enough.2. What was the name of the person who helped Alex around campus? What was the name theprofessor called him by? The helper’s name was Eric or something like that. The professor called him Reggiethough.3. What terrible thing happened to Alex? At the end of the semester, Alex’s mom checked his account to look at his balance andnoticed that his account was oddly low. When viewing the purchases, they were madeon Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sadly, Reggie, wasn’t a very nice helper and he wasn’tprotecting Alex.4. Why was the laughing frog so important to the professor and what moment was she waitingfor? The laughing yoga frog was love at first sight with the professor. She had brought it toclass to take pictures with the students and their lucky frog. When she introduced toAlex, he fell in love with it and it brought him much laughter. Later he told her, he had adream that the frog lived with him. So, she gave it to him. She saw the joy it brought himand knew that’s why she had gotten the frog.5. When the professor introduced the frog to the class, what purpose of the frog did she give toher class?It was a “reminder that what is intended for you will be something joyful, something youwill find and will find you.”

Questions for you!

1. Did Alex go on to Florida State and get his bachelor’s degree in theater? Not yet*2. Randomly in the middle of the book, you stated that a student had passed away. Is that inconnection to Marvin’s Book at all? YES! The reason I started taking pictures in Fall 2010 was because Aaron was in my class in Spring 2010. I hate to admit it but I forgot the connection between the two books, and I'm glad you reminded me.

Laughing Yoga Frog Q&A: How many frogs are you up to now?

1. Why did the Professor not want to become the someone with the yard full of frogs?

A: She is secretly a frog hoarder and she did not want her secret to get out. The obsessive draw to visit the laughing frog over and over again using the excuse of being hungry ultimately led to her giving in and bringing it home.  The fact that she got it for 80% off was just a bonus.  She mentally bought it when she first saw it.

1. What was the significance of the pat on the head and rubbing the frog’s belly?

A: She had found her own green Laughing Buddha and maybe this would bring her some luck and good fortune.  She even felt that maybe the frog was meant to teach her something.  So, “When the student is ready the teacher appears.”

1. What was the Professor trying to tell the students with the story of the healing of the frog’s tail?

A: That even though they may not realize it now but when their college experience is done they will not be the same as when they started.  That she hopes that the effort and education has help them to see more than they could when they first started and they continue on to do great things.

1. What lessons can be learned from the incident between Alex and Reggie/Eric?

A: Be careful whom you trust.  When money is involved close friends and even family can act in ways that can be unethical and disappointing. If someone is needed to help you or someone you love with daily living and they will also be handling money, document everything, take nothing at face value, and keep records of who the person is including a picture of the.  Not everyone has a goofy Professor taking pictures of everyone.

1. How did the Professor know it was time for the frog to move on and be with Alex?

A: Even as she was trying to find ways to keep the frog she was already getting it ready to leave with Alex. The bag that had been there waiting to be used, the fact that it fit perfectly on the back of his chair, and then how happy they looked together going down the hallway. Alex told her that he dreamt that the frog wanted to go with him so now maybe it was his turn to learn something.  “When the student is ready the teacher appears,” it was time for the laughing frog to move on.

1. How many frogs are you up to now?: Enough. My Mom has given me five in the past month. She loves me.
2. How is Alex and the frog doing? I'll pass your question on to him!

Laughing Yoga Frog: Two BIG Questions

1.  Q: What is the whole meaning (concept) of the book?  A: Frogs. Love. Forgiveness

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Q: Was the play a success as well as the book for Alex’s future?A:There’s a Play?

What would you call your style of writing? Q&A on Marvin's Book

 Questions for Me from 11:15MWF class: Marvin's Book

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1.How exactly has this book made an impact in your life?   Why such a hard question? Do I do this to you in class?

2. What would you call your style of writing?  OMG Now I see why you guys want multiple choice tests!! Can’t I have selections?  A) Fabulous.  B) Café Cubano. C) Melissataastic.  D) Tacorific. E) Revolutionary.

3.  Why did you share such random experiences and information throughout the book?  Life is a bunch of random experiences, and the way we string them together can make powerfully beautiful stories (like a stained glass window ) or just be a bunch of random things (a pile of rocks).

4. Dr Soldani if you won the lottery; would you really still teach at TCC? if so what makes history so interesting? Without a doubt! The only thing(s) I would do differently is give out real money in class and maybe make students call me Dr. Shakira and also I would dress exactly like Claire from House of Cards but with much much better hair.  I can’t explain why history is so interesting, but I can show you!

5. How long did it take to gather all the stories from student to put into a book?  The actual writing was a solid year of compiling things typing, deleting, finding, losing.  I was writing the book WHILE the events happened, so I had no idea myself how and when it would end until the ending you read about actually happened*

6. Can you further explain indentured servants further? When I think of servant it sounds similar to slave.  Wow, OK, I can but ask me in class.

7. What have been some low points of your teaching career? The semester after Alex and I finished Prayer of the Laughing Yoga Frog, he became really sick and I thought I watched him die.  I shut down a little bit for a semester after that, then I rebounded by letting students assign me books. My 150 book project is definitely a high point.

8.  How does it feel knowing you did not let Marvin family down about him receiving his Degree?  I’m so thankful to TCC for making it happen!

9. Do you have a bond with any of your other students family like you do have with Marvin’s’ family?   I’m not sure.

10.         How did you meet Father John? He lived at the VA in Lake City with David Lowe, right across the hall.

11.         How did you think of the Title? I always called the project “Marvin’s Book” so that was easy. The subtitle was inspired by the subtitle of Tuesdays with Morrie.

12.         How many students a year does the Hero Scholarship Fund help? One.

13.         How did Marvins family react to receiving his diploma? A graduation without a graduate is a sad sad thing. 

14.         Are you so passionate about your students because of your experience with Marvin? Nope. I was born this way.

15.         What was the hardest part of the book for you to write, and how long did it end up taking to write it. I cried so much while writing the book I can’t remember what parts hurt the most.  After the hurt came healing, and after the healing came room for more books and joy and love.

16.         Would you ever teach at different grade levels or do you like to teach to strictly college students? I wrote four delicate answers to this and deleted them all. I started to say “Oh, that would be a nice experience…” and “maybe for a semester…” but for real the answer is that from an early point in school I knew I wanted to become a history professor.  PS - As a small child I wanted to become a cheerleader or a nurse or both but I saw they both wore flat shoes to work so I ruled those out. 

17.         Do you still keep in contact with any of the students written in the book? How often? Yes!! Several times a week.

18.          I love the ideal of bringing things in for veterans; are our class going to do that? Yes!

19.         I don’t get to see my Abuelo or Abuela often, because we live far from each other, but to me my Abuelo is my inspiration and my hero. In your book you talk about yours with passion, what would you consider your abuelo? My Abuelo’s courage and sacrifice are the reasons I grew up in the US, and for that he is my hero and inspiration.

20.         Do you do anything special on the anniversary of Marvin’s death or his birthday?  Every year we notice and remember. Marvin’s brother and sister usually post something on facebook and sometimes I do to. Sometimes we remember it silently. This year marks 15 years; I wrote Marvin’s Book while we were walking through his 10 year anniversary.  It still hurts.

21.         Which of all the lost you experienced in your book was the hardest one? Why?  I have no closure at all with Aaron, the student who walked out of the class. I have no picture of him, no classwork, nothing. I don’t think his family knows anything about Marvin’s Book or that Aaron was loved and missed.  If you read Prayer of the Laughing Yoga Frog, Aaron was the reason I started taking pictures with students, which lead to that book.

22.         Out of all your books you have written, which is the best for you? Four Days in Cienfuegos, about the first time I left the US and went to Cuba and was terrified of landing in a Cuban jail. And Treasure from Heaven.  And the book I'm writing now but had to take a break from in order to watch House of Cards. 

23.         What made you write this book? I had no choice.

24.         Where is David today? He is at the VA for a few more weeks getting IV treatments. You can find him on Facebook ;-)

25.         With kids to entertain, a life full of teaching kids, and grading how do you have time to write books? I don’t have time to even read them.  If I don’t write, I’ll go crazy. 

26.         In the whole fork back scratcher story I was wondering why don’t you just wake someone up to scratch it for you? No. Just no.

27.         Where all these deaths and mishaps spread out or did they all occur very close together? Marvin passed away in April, 2000. I was working on this book and on Marvin’s degree in Spring 2010 when Carol died (March 15) and Aaron died (April 20).

28. Did Military Jordan get amnesia? I hadn’t thought to ask him. Is that a question people usually ask veterans? I was more interested in his job, his puppy, his wife, his brother and stuff like that. Wait, what was your question? I forgot.

29.         Is it still a sensitive subject for you about the death of Marvin and Carol? No. The universe still sends me people from Marvin and Carol, and those people bring love and hugs and we grieve together and keep walking forward.

30.         Will you please continue to teach and make the amazing impact that you have? Um, is that a proposal?

31.         Is Josephine a current translator at TCC? I think she translates at my church too! She is! Isn’t she awesome?

32.         What countries fought in the Spanish-American War? Where was it fought? What was the outcome? Cuba.

33.         What made you include some of your students in this book? My students are awesome.

(BONUS) (From an anonymous student - THIS is why I write*)

After reading this I think /I desperately need a hug, or just a thumbs up or something. I’ve never had to deal with death directly, phased death of sorts when my best childhood friend moved away, but nothing like the real death of someone that you saw every week.  I don’t cry, but your Marvin’s Book has me quite literally sobbin… and cursing {which also NEVER happens}. … It’s kind of freaking me out to tell the truth. Like I’m just really weird feeling right now… call it silly if you like, but I really admire your strength. Thank you… I don’t know why I’m thanking you, but really I feel like I should. Thank you.