100 Books: Mia the Horrible, The Shelter Puppy from Cage #13

Yes I did it, I couldn't help myself.

I pushed pause on my 100 book project (just pause! not stop!) to write this short horror story/love story that I think will make you giggle a bit.  $1 from every ebook and 50% of every book will be donated to Leon County Animal Shelter.

 It'll be available in late July, and I'm pretty sure Mia will be announcing it herself on Twitter.

Relatively Perfect Until... subtitle: The Story of My Pink and Green Cast

I'd say my kids have been relatively perfect today considering they were stuck chaperoning me at a three hour ordeal at an orthopedic clinic.

The hour and a half in the waiting room wasn't bad. We giggled and whispered and envied cute outfit. 

 A cute baby fell asleep gnawing on her mom's bracelet.

  A straw haired  lady wheeled across the room complimented someone's "handsome son" only to find out it was a daughter.

 One lucky red-casted guy hobbled in on crutches and was called back for his appointment  before his butt actually landed on the seat he'd chosen. 

Once they called us back I sat on an exam table in the middle of 10 other tables like an old maternity ward where everybody could see and hear everything that was going on. 

I asked the nurse if invisible curtains actually separated us and she said yes and closed the invisible curtains behind her. I pretended not to see someone across from me giggle.  

  

When the doctor that I'd been referred to introduced himself and asked me how I hurt my ankle I told him "skydiving" and he believed me because I guess doctors get stories like that all the time.

  Before he could write anything down I stopped him and said "no, I was walking the dog." 

That's all I told him but I'll tell you more because "Walking the dog" sounds like such a euphemism for 100 things, most of which are things that warrant euphemisms. 

A few days ago, after submitting semester grades I took the puppy for a celebratory late night walk under the stars and among fireflies and then whoosh slip twist crash I was sitting with one foot twisted under me. 

In three seconds I knew it was broken and I limped home praying to forget every step.

 I wrote a poem, took Tylenol pm and went to sleep.  The rest is history. 

Back to today.  

Cast for 4 weeks, then back for X-rays and hopefully a walking cast after that. 

Zoe asks them to make my cast pink and green.  

Zack holds my hand as the cast guy slowly sets my ankle in position it really doesn't want to be in (and 8 hours later my ankle is still crying). 

Soon enough we are home but without the cool knee-scooter crutch-substitute that I hoped I would get. Apparently they're quite scarce around these places.

Inspired by the doctors and cast techs rolling around on those little exam room stools, I turned the rolling computer desk chair into a faux-scooter (#whee).

After days if being stranded in a chair unable to even get myself water I was finally free (and omg excited)  to clean the kitchen, take out the trash, put away laundry and sweep.  

I made dinner (eggs, pancakes, bacon), cleaned again, then my foot was throbbing so painfully I decided to take a break watch a little Masterchef. 

That's when one of my practically perfect and increasingly independent  kids came to me and asked to get on the computer.

 I said yes but the kid still stood there looking sad. 

What?

I need the chair or the computer won't work.

Too tired to even try to fight that crazy illusion I surrendered the chair of freedom and slid onto the sofa, curled up with my puppy and watched Gordon Ramsey fuss at people. 

Almost Perfect (Explaining My Pink and Green Cast)

Relatively Perfect Until

I'd say my kids have been relatively perfect today considering they were stuck chaperoning me at a three hour ordeal at an orthopedic clinic.

The hour and a half in the waiting room wasn't bad. We giggled and whispered and envied cute outfit.

 A cute baby fell asleep gnawing on her mom's bracelet.

  A straw haired  lady wheeled across the room complimented someone's "handsome son" only to find out it was a daughter.

 One lucky red-casted guy hobbled in on crutches and was called back for his appointment  before his butt actually landed on the seat he'd chosen.

Once they called us back I sat on an exam table in the middle of 10 other tables like an old maternity ward where everybody could see and hear everything that was going on.

I asked the nurse if invisible curtains actually separated us and she said yes and closed the invisible curtains behind her. I pretended not to see someone across from me giggle.
 
When the doctor that I'd been referred to introduced himself and asked me how I hurt my ankle I told him "skydiving" and he believed me because I guess doctors get stories like that all the time.

  Before he could write anything down I stopped him and said "no, I was walking the dog."

That's all I told him but I'll tell you more because "Walking the dog" sounds like such a euphemism for 100 things, most of which are things that warrant euphemisms.

A few days ago, after submitting semester grades I took the puppy for a celebratory late night walk under the stars and among fireflies and then whoosh slip twist crash I was sitting with one foot twisted under me.

In three seconds I knew it was broken and I limped home praying to forget every step.

 I wrote a poem, took Tylenol pm and went to sleep.  The rest is history.

Back to today.  Cast for 4 weeks, then back for X-rays and hopefully a walking cast.

Zoe asks them to make my cast pink and green.

Zack holds my hand as the cast guy slowly sets my ankle in position it really doesn't want to be in (and 8 hours later my ankle is still crying).

Soon enough we are home but without the cool knee-scooter crutch-substitute that I hoped I would get. Apparently they're quite scarce around these places.

Inspired by the doctors and cast techs rolling around on those little exam room stools, I turned the rolling computer desk chair into a faux-scooter (#whee).

After days if being stranded in a chair unable to even get myself water I was finally free (and omg excited)  to clean the kitchen, take out the trash, put away laundry and sweep.

I made dinner (eggs, pancakes, bacon), cleaned again, then my foot was throbbing so painfully I decided to take a break watch a little Masterchef.

That's when one of my practically perfect and increasingly independent  kids came to me and asked to get on the computer.

 I said yes but the kid still stood there looking sad.

What?

I need the chair or the computer won't work.

Too tired to even try to fight that crazy illusion I surrendered the chair of freedom and slid onto the sofa, curled up with my puppy and watched Gordon Ramsey fuss at people.

All was great and perfect until

Between Fireflies and Star-filled Skies

PRELUDE:
Zoe: your knee is bleeding
Me; the puppy tripped me, but I need to write my poem

Zoe. AWWW, write your poem

(so I do)
------------------------

If you  get a puppy
And by chance you
Also have insomnia

You might get lucky
And be forced
To take an
After midnight stroll
With your canine carefree companion
           Between fireflies
          And and an inky sky
           Filled with ancient stars
And find something
(Someone)
To be thankful for.

5 Things Mission #7: As soon as I said the word “history” his face lit up.

For this last mission, I decided to take it to the Holiday Inn just like I did with the second one. The general manager is a Veteran but he went home earlier than normal and I didn’t get a chance to ask him… As I was asking another manager if he knew of any other Veterans near by, an elderly man wearing a hat that read “Retired Navy” walked up to the restaurant. 

He asked what the hours of operation were and I answered his question. I then said “Now I have a question for you, if that’s okay.” He nodded and I continued. “I noticed your hat and was wondering if you could help me out with my history assignment.” 

As soon as I said the word “history” his face lit up. A cheery “Of course!” was what he responded with. I asked him to tell me five things that he hopes is being taught in my US college history class. He first started to tell me a little about himself- how he went to the University of Washington for five years and graduated with a Chemical Engineering degree and how he fought in both the Korean and Vietnam Wars. He told me how over all things were different back then. 

After some more details, he got around to telling me the five things he hopes I’m learning:

1)   That the politicians told the Generals what to do even though the Generals actually knew what they were doing. (* He spent a good time talking about this.)

2)   The Vietnam War

3)   The Korean War

4)   General MacArthur

5)   What the original Justice System was like

Right after saying those five subjects, he went straight into saying how horrible it is that technology has taken over. 

He also gave me a breakdown on how school requirements should be.

-       75% Core classes

-       25% Electives

He concluded with “We should focus less on sports!”

I could tell he had so much more to say because he was so passionate about everything he said.

 I feel like I definitely made his day! 

5 Things Mission #6: "My old math teacher also brought up the whole Bush situation"

Student #6

I recently interviewed a former veteran who served in the Afghanistan war. He was my old math teacher in middle school and he would show us pictures of him on camels and with some of the children over there in the area. 

We sat down and talked and I asked him as being a veteran, what are five things that you hope that I am learning in my United States history class. Out of the five answers, his first answer was that he hopes as college students, we must understand and be aware of what happened in our past so we could better our future. He further explained that with taking the US history class, the person will have a better understanding of why certain events occurred and our reactions to events.

The second thing he hopes we are learning about in class is why the United States always interferes with other countries. He says that the United States is very powerful and felt the need to help others to keep peace. He also said that what other countries had, we needed so we had to become friends with them.

My old math teacher also brought up the whole Bush situation. He says that he really hopes we are learning about what stupid mistakes our past presidents made. He says that Bush weakened our democracy and Bush is the reason why so many lives were lost in the war against Iraq.

This veteran also would expect that in history class we are learning about the bad side of history such as slavery. He believes that slavery gets overlooked and does not get acknowledged at all. He also believes that it still affects us today.

Lastly, he hopes we are learning about the different cultures. He explains that learning about different cultures gives us an appreciation of what we have and realize that an individual across the country could be yearning to do what we do and to have what we have.

5 Things Mission #5:

I interviewed a veteran and asked him the question, what are five things that college students should be learning in a US history college coarse class.

 The answers that I received back were:

• That the Iraq war is not over, there are still numerous amount of troops fighting and being killed.
• The American tax dollars are not really enough to support the war, and America is trying to pay their way out of debt. 
• They also hoped that college students are learning that 9/11 could have been possibly prevented, because the U.S government had an idea that Al Qaeda was possibly attacking.
• They also said that students should understand and learn all the conditions that the troops have to go through during the war.
•  Hoped students  learn more about the countries and the ethnic groups that is in those countries, because that explain a lot about how a lot of wars started. 

5 Things Mission #4: Well, since I'm a veteran I asked myself this question

Well, since I'm a veteran I asked myself this question and this is the best I could come up with.

 At first my reaction was one of it doesn't matter because history is just that, history. 

Then I thought a little more on it and decided that my judgment is already skewed based on my age and what I know already or thought I knew. 

So, this is my list of the FIVE things I started the semester hoping I would learn in this class.

1.     I hoped I would learn a little more about the Vietnam War. Really all the major wars.

2.     That I would gain a better understanding of foreign policy in the US because up to this point I really didn’t care.

3.     A better, simpler explanation of why the US is in the state it is in now.

4.     An explanation of why the US always seems to be sticking our noses in other countries affairs.

5.     And to refresh my mind of things I have forgotten for various reasons over the years since childhood and to make it all click to events now. 

5 Things Mission #3: 5 question my Veteran (Jeff G, my uncle) wanted me to learn in my history class

Student #3

5 question my Veteran (Jeff Gale, my uncle) wanted me to learn in my history class:

1.     Why we have Veterans Day and the meaning of this day.

2.     Why we have Memorial Day and the meaning of this day.

3.     All the conflicts we have been having especially since after WW1.

4.     What happened in Pearl Harbor and how it happened.

5.     What happened at D-day and who was in it.

6.     How history has treated our Veterans ever since Vietnam because our Veterans haven’t always been treated the best.