Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Monday, September 22, 2014
Sunday, September 21, 2014
100 Book Project: Book #78 - Jets. Arabs. Poem.
The Dog Stars: A Novel by Peter Heller
It took me a few chapters to get into this book. The sparse details are intentionally disorienting.
I don't know where I am, I don't know what happened, but it feels post-apocalyptic.
The narrator is not a man of many words. He is a pilot who loves poetry by Li Pon and his dog Jasper. He misses his wife, Melissa and lives with a crazy green beret guy.
Then we find out why the narrator is so turned inside of himself.
We know what he did to his wife. We know where he is and why, and what happened to the world. We follow him through attacks and battles and ambushes (I skim the violent parts, ok?)
We witness what happens to his dog (and cry), and then we follow him on a brave one-way journey from his isolated landing strip and farm to someplace new, looking for -- well, not knowing what, but going anyway -- using all the aviation fuel he had left.
200 pages into the book and was ignoring College Football Gameday, tuning out Tallahassee chatter about quarterbacks and memes, and hiding from my son and his friend Kaden.
I am transfixed on this man's pain and hope and survival. Plus he finds a Woman and there are 7 pages of "grown up" stuff that would make me blush to even write about.
The book ends when the narrator sees jets go overhead. Communication is down. Electricity is down. There is no internet, there are no phones much less "news" so he wonders to himself if the planes are Arabs.
Then more jets go overhead and the narrator suddenly misses his dead dog again and thinks about his favorite poem by Li Shang-Yin:
I turn the page.
The book is over.
THE BOOK IS OVER????
Zack's friend Kaden is in the kitchen getting a glass a Sunkist and asks me what's wrong.
I tell him "this was a great book but then the guy looks up, sees planes, blames Arabs and says a poem."
Kaden shakes his head, "it ends like THAT? Is there a sequel?"
I don't know and for a moment I'm too annoyed to want to check, so I join the boys and make chocolate chip cookies and forget about the book for awhile.
Later I pick it up and read the ending again.
Grief, healing, wisdom, hope, uncertainty, certainty, connection, disconnection, love.
Beautiful.
It took me a few chapters to get into this book. The sparse details are intentionally disorienting.
I don't know where I am, I don't know what happened, but it feels post-apocalyptic.
The narrator is not a man of many words. He is a pilot who loves poetry by Li Pon and his dog Jasper. He misses his wife, Melissa and lives with a crazy green beret guy.
Then we find out why the narrator is so turned inside of himself.
We know what he did to his wife. We know where he is and why, and what happened to the world. We follow him through attacks and battles and ambushes (I skim the violent parts, ok?)
We witness what happens to his dog (and cry), and then we follow him on a brave one-way journey from his isolated landing strip and farm to someplace new, looking for -- well, not knowing what, but going anyway -- using all the aviation fuel he had left.
200 pages into the book and was ignoring College Football Gameday, tuning out Tallahassee chatter about quarterbacks and memes, and hiding from my son and his friend Kaden.
I am transfixed on this man's pain and hope and survival. Plus he finds a Woman and there are 7 pages of "grown up" stuff that would make me blush to even write about.
The book ends when the narrator sees jets go overhead. Communication is down. Electricity is down. There is no internet, there are no phones much less "news" so he wonders to himself if the planes are Arabs.
Then more jets go overhead and the narrator suddenly misses his dead dog again and thinks about his favorite poem by Li Shang-Yin:
When Will I Be Home?
When will I be home? I don't know.
In the mountains, in the rainy night.
The Autumn lake is flooded.
Someday we will be back together again.
We will sit in the candlelight by the West window.
And I will tell you how I remembered you
Tonight on the stormy mountain.
I turn the page.
The book is over.
THE BOOK IS OVER????
Zack's friend Kaden is in the kitchen getting a glass a Sunkist and asks me what's wrong.
I tell him "this was a great book but then the guy looks up, sees planes, blames Arabs and says a poem."
Kaden shakes his head, "it ends like THAT? Is there a sequel?"
I don't know and for a moment I'm too annoyed to want to check, so I join the boys and make chocolate chip cookies and forget about the book for awhile.
Later I pick it up and read the ending again.
Grief, healing, wisdom, hope, uncertainty, certainty, connection, disconnection, love.
Beautiful.
Friday, September 19, 2014
100 Book Project Book #77: The Boxer
The Boxer: The True Story of Holocaust Survivor Harry Hafft by Reinhard Kleist
In case you don't remember, let me remind you that last Spring I had my students assign me books during the first weeks of class and cut them off at 100ish. Then at the beginning of this semester I went crazy (no. other. reason.) and asked my new students to assign me books.
Just like last time, I brought a big box.
Just like last time, I left with only a tote bag full, wondering why anyone wouldn't jump at the opportunity of forcing someone else to read a book.
Oh well. I let it go and readjusted "100" to mean "closer to 200 but whatever 100 sounds catchy" and kept reading.
The student who assigned me this book proudly handed it to me and announced that his family KNEW this man, and his mother took care of this man and his wife.
I was smitten.
Although this book has won several awards, I have never heard of or seen this book and I'm thankful the universe sent it to me because I'm quite sure I would never have found it on my own.
And honestly, even if I saw it, I'm not sure I would have picked it up because it is a.. umm... Hmmm.
What's the word for a book with pictures, that has like 4 to 10 squares on a page and shows expressions instead of describing them? I'm going with "graphic novel."
Yes. Maybe. Not. OK, not novel. I need a better name but I'm letting that go now.
This book is a story within a story, a story of a father telling his son the story of surviving the Holocaust, finding then losing then finding then losing love.
I didn't think I would like this book, much less love it, but the pictures captured this man's tortured soul, full of survivor guilt, grief and shock.
This book is too painful, too perfect, too real for me to spoil by giving you an overview. Read it. I read it, my son read it, and I can't imagine anyone who has a soul putting this book down before finishing it.
You can find this book on Amazon -- I checked, because I'm buying a copy for my son.
In case you don't remember, let me remind you that last Spring I had my students assign me books during the first weeks of class and cut them off at 100ish. Then at the beginning of this semester I went crazy (no. other. reason.) and asked my new students to assign me books.
Just like last time, I brought a big box.
Just like last time, I left with only a tote bag full, wondering why anyone wouldn't jump at the opportunity of forcing someone else to read a book.
Oh well. I let it go and readjusted "100" to mean "closer to 200 but whatever 100 sounds catchy" and kept reading.
The student who assigned me this book proudly handed it to me and announced that his family KNEW this man, and his mother took care of this man and his wife.
I was smitten.
Although this book has won several awards, I have never heard of or seen this book and I'm thankful the universe sent it to me because I'm quite sure I would never have found it on my own.
And honestly, even if I saw it, I'm not sure I would have picked it up because it is a.. umm... Hmmm.
What's the word for a book with pictures, that has like 4 to 10 squares on a page and shows expressions instead of describing them? I'm going with "graphic novel."
Yes. Maybe. Not. OK, not novel. I need a better name but I'm letting that go now.
This book is a story within a story, a story of a father telling his son the story of surviving the Holocaust, finding then losing then finding then losing love.
I didn't think I would like this book, much less love it, but the pictures captured this man's tortured soul, full of survivor guilt, grief and shock.
This book is too painful, too perfect, too real for me to spoil by giving you an overview. Read it. I read it, my son read it, and I can't imagine anyone who has a soul putting this book down before finishing it.
You can find this book on Amazon -- I checked, because I'm buying a copy for my son.
100 Book Project: Book #76 - Back Seat Review
Yes, I have already reviewed The Giving Tree which is why the book was in the backseat next to Zack this morning when we were stuck in traffic.
I take deep breaths, not stressed over this horrible traffic jam, not freaking out, ok ok fine freaking out a little, then exhaling.
Zack screams out from the back seat "HE CUT THE TREE DOWN!!!!"
At first I didn't know what he was talking about (sometimes I hear much better than I listen....) then I realized the semi-silence between us was filled with anguished sobs.
I half shout "The Giving Tree? It's OK! It's just a book! The tree isn't real just like Roo didn't die in Hunger Games. Plus the tree asks for it."
He wails louder, HE CUT THE TREE DOWN!
I sit there stuck in traffic and tell my son that this book is either a love story or a horror story, depending on how you look at it and how smart you are.
That stopped his tears and then his sister added, "look at the back!! that's what my friends and I did when we freaked out over that book"
Zack flipped the book over and saw the big black and white of the bearded author and laughed.
I take deep breaths, not stressed over this horrible traffic jam, not freaking out, ok ok fine freaking out a little, then exhaling.
Zack screams out from the back seat "HE CUT THE TREE DOWN!!!!"
At first I didn't know what he was talking about (sometimes I hear much better than I listen....) then I realized the semi-silence between us was filled with anguished sobs.
I half shout "The Giving Tree? It's OK! It's just a book! The tree isn't real just like Roo didn't die in Hunger Games. Plus the tree asks for it."
He wails louder, HE CUT THE TREE DOWN!
I sit there stuck in traffic and tell my son that this book is either a love story or a horror story, depending on how you look at it and how smart you are.
That stopped his tears and then his sister added, "look at the back!! that's what my friends and I did when we freaked out over that book"
Zack flipped the book over and saw the big black and white of the bearded author and laughed.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
100 Book Project: Book #76 - The Tree, the Boy, The Missing Piece and the Big O
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Once upon a time, a tree loved a boy, and the boy loved the tree. They found delight in each other, with the tree giving the boy shade, play, a house and a boat. (I. Can't. Make. That. Up.)
Despite getting EVERYTHING the tree had to give, the boy returned a man, sad and lonely and the tree STILL wanted to love the boy-man so she told him to sit on her stump and he did and they were happy.
The reader can decide that the tree is either pathetically co-dependent crazy or goddess-love beautiful.
The boy is either selfish or blessed.
I'll let you decide.
In case you've never heard of this author, definitely check him out. His simple stories are meditations on philosophy and love and growth.
My favorite book by this author is The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. and you can read it at this site. Enjoy! http://www.ktor.me/bigo/index.php
Once upon a time, a tree loved a boy, and the boy loved the tree. They found delight in each other, with the tree giving the boy shade, play, a house and a boat. (I. Can't. Make. That. Up.)
Despite getting EVERYTHING the tree had to give, the boy returned a man, sad and lonely and the tree STILL wanted to love the boy-man so she told him to sit on her stump and he did and they were happy.
The reader can decide that the tree is either pathetically co-dependent crazy or goddess-love beautiful.
I don't know. Maybe both.
The boy is either selfish or blessed.
I don't know. Maybe both.
I'll let you decide.
In case you've never heard of this author, definitely check him out. His simple stories are meditations on philosophy and love and growth.My favorite book by this author is The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. and you can read it at this site. Enjoy! http://www.ktor.me/bigo/index.php
100 Book Project: Book #75 - The Tao of Pooh
The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
The title says it all. Truth be told, the title told me so much, I didn't actually feel like I needed to read this book.
I just applied the idea of Taoism to what I knew about Winnie the Pooh and POOF there I got it.
Winnie the Pooh is the classic happy laughing fool of Taoism who turns out to be the wisest because he's the simplest. Got it. Pooh Bear exemplifies Taoism so deliciously that Lao T'zu (father of Taoism) would definitely be calling for the front row seat at the Winnie the Pooh ride at Disney.
Or so I thought.
This book is good. Really good. I read every single word, highlighted things AND took notes.
If you know nothing about Taoism, read this book first.
I like how the author defines terms and gives eloquent examples.
Taoism 101:
Pooh exemplifies "P'u" (coincidence? could that even be possible?), the notion of "uncarved block" and natural simplicity. If a person were to "discard arrogance, complexity a few other things....sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Block [like Pooh] - Life is Fun."
This book compares other Pooh characters with Taoist stories and wisdom sayings that would leave anyone of any faith a little more open to slow down and see magic in the moment it unfolds.
It is killing me to not list the lessons I learned from this book, but if I do that I would steal the treasure of this book from you.
Next time you are in a book store, pick up a copy and see if you can put it down.
Then pick up a few more copies because this book would make a great graduation or Christmas present.
Here is a link with quotes from the book. Enjoy*
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/55188-the-tao-of-pooh
The title says it all. Truth be told, the title told me so much, I didn't actually feel like I needed to read this book.
I just applied the idea of Taoism to what I knew about Winnie the Pooh and POOF there I got it.
Winnie the Pooh is the classic happy laughing fool of Taoism who turns out to be the wisest because he's the simplest. Got it. Pooh Bear exemplifies Taoism so deliciously that Lao T'zu (father of Taoism) would definitely be calling for the front row seat at the Winnie the Pooh ride at Disney.
Or so I thought.
This book is good. Really good. I read every single word, highlighted things AND took notes.
If you know nothing about Taoism, read this book first.
I like how the author defines terms and gives eloquent examples.
Taoism 101:
"The basic Taoism that we are concerned with here is simply a particular way of appreciating, learning from, and working with whatever happens in everyday life. From the Taoist point of view, the natural result of this harmonious way of living is happiness."
Pooh exemplifies "P'u" (coincidence? could that even be possible?), the notion of "uncarved block" and natural simplicity. If a person were to "discard arrogance, complexity a few other things....sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Block [like Pooh] - Life is Fun."
This book compares other Pooh characters with Taoist stories and wisdom sayings that would leave anyone of any faith a little more open to slow down and see magic in the moment it unfolds.
It is killing me to not list the lessons I learned from this book, but if I do that I would steal the treasure of this book from you.
Next time you are in a book store, pick up a copy and see if you can put it down.
Then pick up a few more copies because this book would make a great graduation or Christmas present.
Here is a link with quotes from the book. Enjoy*
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/55188-the-tao-of-pooh
Monday, September 15, 2014
100 Book Project: Book #74: Like Karate Kid, But No Karate. Loved It.
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book that Changes Lives
(1980, revised 2000) by Dan Millman
I love this book the same way I love other books about love, peace and spirit like THE ALCHEMIST, ILLUSIONS, HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS and THE SHACK, and I'm genuinely annoyed at all of you who HAVE read this book for not telling me about it sooner.
It's set in California, late 1960s, where a Karate-kid like gymnast befriends a wisdom giving nonogenarian gas attendant named Socrates.
The book follows the narrator's wisdom path of letting go of illusions ("Realizing is not the same as knowing") and seeing the unconquered mind as a source of great pain and suffering.
Socrates: "When you can't stop thinking of that math problem or phone number, or when troubling thoughts and memories march through your head its not your brain working but your mind wandering. Then the mind controls you... You have an angry thought bubble up and you become angry. It is the same with your emotions. They're your knee-jerk responses to thoughts you can't control. Your thoughts are like wild monkeys stung by a scorpion."
The narrator, Dan, responds, "Socrates, I think....." to which Socrates reprimands him "You think too much!" I love it! Yes!!
The narrator learns how much of the stuff in his mind is junk, and as he filters it out he finds himself wanting to learn more, returning to the gas station after midnight where Socrates tells him stories and gives him tasks. pushes him, coaches him, gives him riddles to solve and a super strict vegetarian diet, then finally leaves him to find his own way.
Think of Karate Kid, with no Karate. Got it?
The last advice Socrates gives to Dan before he sets off for awhile is to "just keep your attention in the present, Dan. This is freedom from suffering, from fear, from mind. When thoughts touch present, they dissolve....."
Love it. I'm going to print and frame that. quote.
The narrator takes us through adversity, recovery, a marriage and outer success which all fall apart because he still hasn't found the core question of who he is and why he is here and what lessons he needed to learn.
Later, after a mutual friend dies, Socrates shows up in Dan's life again (OK, there is a magic card involved that I'm cropping out of this review, but trust me it's cool) and Dan asks harder, simpler more fundamental questions than he'd ever asked.
Dan: How did you jump to the roof?
Socrates "There are no well-defined edges of reality, Dan. The earth isn't solid. It is made of molecules and atoms, tiny universes filled with space. It is a place of mystery, light, and magic if you only open your eyes."
Wow. Yes. Right. Damn, that's good. Printing that quote, too.
Dan: What is love? Help me understand.
Socrates: "Love is not something to be understood; it can only be lived."
Yes. True. Wow. Deep and shallow at the same time, so Zen! I'm going to print that out and frame that and probably sell it on t-shirts. Seriously.
Dan finally asks when and how he is going to finally become a warrior and Socrates tells him (right before leaving him forever, like Yoda) "A warrior is not something you become. It is something you either are, in this moment, or you are not. The Way creates the warrior."
With that, Dan finally surrenders to the absolute moment and changes his life, awakened to live in the moment he remembers this:
Enlightenment is not an attainment, Dan; it is a Realization. And when you wake up, everything changes and nothing changes. If a blind man realizes that he can see, has the world changed?This book is now one of my favorites and I would definitely recommend it, except the parts on eating vegetables. I'm not THAT enlightened.
What is ISIS / ISIL? "I don't know what that is but they have a cute name"
One way to take attendance without calling names (Bueller? Bueller?) is asking a few quick questions before starting lecture.
Today I asked my class "What is ISIS? or ISIL?"
I didn't spell it for them (tricky, hmm?).
I didn't show them any map or visual aids.
I gave my students only 3 minutes to write one or two sentences.
A few of them started writing immediately.
A bunch of them looked confused.
Today I asked my class "What is ISIS? or ISIL?"
I didn't spell it for them (tricky, hmm?).
I didn't show them any map or visual aids.
I gave my students only 3 minutes to write one or two sentences.
A few of them started writing immediately.
A bunch of them looked confused.
43 solidly and correctly described the group -- the rest ranged from vague to ... well, here you go:
- I don't know what that is but they have a cute name.
- Isis was the Queen of Iceland in 1802, known for freezing citizens when they break the law.
- Isis is something that is war related. They have a specific job.
- I think they are in the mountains.
- I don't know about Ices. Sorry.
- Aisle was a ruler. I really don't know who Aisle was.
- Isis is a lady who travelled the world and taught her religion.
- Isis is a famous person who had a big impact on America.
- My roommates were just talking about this, and I have no idea what it is.
- It sounds like a foreign land.
- My guess is that is has something to do with American History.
- I have seen this word everywhere but NO idea what it means.
- Isis is some sort of god that people believe in. I haven't heard much about her.
- I don't know. Sounds like isolation from something.
- I have no idea of what Isis is, nor have I ever heard of it.
- They are a terrorist group invading Israel.
- Something to do with separating or spreading.
- I don't know anything about them, I can't even spell their name.
- Isis is probably a war hero.
- Nothing.
- I do not know a thing about said Isis. Seriously. Nothing.
- I don't know. I don't pay attention to the news or politics. Too much of a touchy subject at home and with families.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
100 Book Project: Book #73: "The gun kills him. THE GUN KILLS MY FATHER"
Black Light. " by Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan and Stephen Romano "A debut thriller by writers from the SAW franchise" (2011)
This book was written by writers from the Saw franchise ("from"? were they major writers? last minute re-writers? shoot day line changers? hmmm?) and if you like horror gore you will probably like this story.
I like American Horror Story (love, sorry, I mean I LOVE American Horror Story).
I like Halloween Horror Night.
I like to be scared, it makes me laugh.
This book didn't scare me. I'm sorry.
It read more like a screenplay than a book, and I think I would have enjoyed watching it much more than I enjoyed reading it.
To be honest (which is also written "#tbh" for people who don't speak hashtag, don't know what #WCW means and probably think LOL means Lots of Love) I've read two really good books and graded 200 essays since finishing book #73 which shows that this book didn't drive me crazy enough with enthusiasm to want to share it with you.
The book book is set in the present, and the past.
There is a hero who is an anti hero who swallows souls (right?) and who also might be his father's killer. Or possessed by the spirit who killed his father
. I don't know. This book didn't read like a Stephen King or John Grisham story, and I'm thankful I don't have to take a test on it!
Here are a few passages to give you a taste of "Black Light"
The bloody mess shudders and cracks and smears, surrendering its substance a little at a time, an unrecognizable wad of decimated flesh and bone wearing cheap shoes. And it finally gives in to the laws of physics and tears away from the grip of the mark, exploding into a million glittering fragments, the pieces of Tom splashing from here to eternity, most of it sucking through the destroyed window. (222)
My mother and father face each other for the final time. They both knew this moment would come. They were ready for it. The 8 followers of Blackjack Williams lie dead at his feet. Blackjack is my father. MY FATHER... The gun kills him. THE GUN KILLS MY FATHER. (224)I would watch this movie and I think it would be **much** better than the book.
The Day I Learned a Huge Lesson on Feminism from my Daughter
I'm on my way to drop Zoe at a party that sounds like such fun that I'd like to go with her.
We weave across this sleepy college town talking about this and that and I notice the monogram on the car in front of us.
I shake my head in disapproval.
Zoe, look at that car! If it wasn't monogrammed with such a big swishy swirly sticker you wouldn't know a woman was driving the car.
She turns to me. Why would anyone care who is driving?
Someone who wants to follow a woman and stalk and rape or kill her. Or maybe wait by the car, knowing a girl will be coming to that car.
My patient daughter exhales patiently. That's stupid. How would anyone know if she has a concealed permit? She could blow their head off. I'll get a monogram on my car if I want and I won't let fear stop me.
You're right, I tell my daughter, a little terrified of her but equally proud.
We weave across this sleepy college town talking about this and that and I notice the monogram on the car in front of us.
I shake my head in disapproval.
Zoe, look at that car! If it wasn't monogrammed with such a big swishy swirly sticker you wouldn't know a woman was driving the car.
She turns to me. Why would anyone care who is driving?
Someone who wants to follow a woman and stalk and rape or kill her. Or maybe wait by the car, knowing a girl will be coming to that car.
My patient daughter exhales patiently. That's stupid. How would anyone know if she has a concealed permit? She could blow their head off. I'll get a monogram on my car if I want and I won't let fear stop me.
You're right, I tell my daughter, a little terrified of her but equally proud.
100 Book Project: The Day I had No Good Answer
As I walk into office on Thursday I stop to hand off Chikfila breakfasts to the wonderful people you see when you come looking for me and then as I'm about try out my brand new key in my brand new office I hear my name.
He's right in front of me, hands on his hips.
This is serious. Oh no. No. I don't want to be in trouble. I stand mute.
He points at me and asks (in front of everyone, in a room that smelled of people about to eat chikfil-happiness)
Soldani! WHAT do you do BESIDES teaching history?
I'm stuck for a second.
Witnesses to the scene look down and laugh because I'm tongue tied.
I point at the sandwiches and offer up that I bring food.
That doesn't count.
Well, I'm still working on the 100 book project, I'm on book #73! 80 chapters written!
That doesn't count.
Reading 100 books in one year and writing a book about it doesn't count?
No. What committees are you on?
I follow him to his office where we find more ways for me to serve.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
*Marvin's Book: The Story of a Professor and a Promise* is Free on Kindle 9/9-9/14
Here you go, in case you haven't read it -- it's the story about a student of mine who passed away suddenly in 2000, how his death connects to how I run my classes today, why I publish exam bloopers and how this all ties to the Hero Scholarship for Veterans at TCC
PS Don't have a kindle? Just download the kindle app on any computer, tablet or smartphone.
PS Don't have a kindle? Just download the kindle app on any computer, tablet or smartphone.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
100 Book Project: Book #72: The One with Bitch in the Title: Subtitle: "Once you start laughing you start healing"
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov
I have never been more tempted to write a review that is only quote after quote, and the fact you have any of my voice in this story is sheer luck.
I agree with the author, and I am trying not to spend too much time wishing I'd read/written/imagined this book before she did, but honestly I don't think about things like dating and how to impress men etc.
This book can inspire you to be a better friend, sister, daughter and parent. It talks about boundaries and dignity and the importance of making your priority becoming who you are intended to become.
This book could be a sequel to seminal book "The Feminine Mystique," explaining how and why women (and people) need to spend their life energy becoming a complete person, not an emotional - financial - social parasite on someone else.
Before we go further, let me explain that "bitch" is an acronym for "Babe in total control of herself" which translates to "grown up." For example. bitches make their own money, pick their own clothes and don't depend on a man for the life blood of the meaning of their existence.
I'm not going to argue with the use of the word bitch -- it's a catchy word considering the acronym it stands for, and I've been called that more than once to my face and right behind my back so I have long known better than to spend my precious life energy fighting with words.
I think this book hooked me when the author described the way bitches cook... we make microwave popcorn.... and she suggests wearing an apron and using oven mitts to open the popcorn. Basically, don't worry about spending 6 hours cooking for a man because 1) that's weird 2) that's inefficient and 3) "if it's warm he will eat it - the rest is wasted effort" (page 6). I agree. My creator did not put me on this earth to cook for people who can cook for themselves -- I am called to spend my time doing other things, and I don't apologize for that choice (so I'm a bitch, feel free to love me....).
Page 40 talks to an audience I don't understand... "Don't appear to eavesdrop on his conversations... Don't ask him to spend all his time with you and don't say "I miss you" when you haven't seen each other for two hours... Don't say things like 'tuck in your shirt'... Don't ask him if he's hungry three times in a row..(p. 40). I think anyone who needs this advice needs to go to AA for dating.
Some of the advice in this book is overtly (scarily) manipulative. For example: Attraction Principle #18; 'Always give the appearance that he has plenty of space. It gets him to drop his guard." Yikes!! Run!
There is an entire chapter on sex comparing sex to a candy shop and using jujube's as the marker of how far men want to go.
I like Attraction Principle #24 which reads like a Zen Koan, turning backwards and inside on itself:
Other principles are also worth quoting, printing, framing:
Principle 42: (page 96)
Page 136 lays relationships into an equation:
Attraction Principle #86
Attraction Principle #93:
Here it is:
Attraction Principle #100
I liked this book A LOT and I can't wait to talk about it in class on Monday*
I have never been more tempted to write a review that is only quote after quote, and the fact you have any of my voice in this story is sheer luck.
I agree with the author, and I am trying not to spend too much time wishing I'd read/written/imagined this book before she did, but honestly I don't think about things like dating and how to impress men etc.
This book can inspire you to be a better friend, sister, daughter and parent. It talks about boundaries and dignity and the importance of making your priority becoming who you are intended to become.
This book could be a sequel to seminal book "The Feminine Mystique," explaining how and why women (and people) need to spend their life energy becoming a complete person, not an emotional - financial - social parasite on someone else.
Before we go further, let me explain that "bitch" is an acronym for "Babe in total control of herself" which translates to "grown up." For example. bitches make their own money, pick their own clothes and don't depend on a man for the life blood of the meaning of their existence.
I'm not going to argue with the use of the word bitch -- it's a catchy word considering the acronym it stands for, and I've been called that more than once to my face and right behind my back so I have long known better than to spend my precious life energy fighting with words.
I think this book hooked me when the author described the way bitches cook... we make microwave popcorn.... and she suggests wearing an apron and using oven mitts to open the popcorn. Basically, don't worry about spending 6 hours cooking for a man because 1) that's weird 2) that's inefficient and 3) "if it's warm he will eat it - the rest is wasted effort" (page 6). I agree. My creator did not put me on this earth to cook for people who can cook for themselves -- I am called to spend my time doing other things, and I don't apologize for that choice (so I'm a bitch, feel free to love me....).
Page 40 talks to an audience I don't understand... "Don't appear to eavesdrop on his conversations... Don't ask him to spend all his time with you and don't say "I miss you" when you haven't seen each other for two hours... Don't say things like 'tuck in your shirt'... Don't ask him if he's hungry three times in a row..(p. 40). I think anyone who needs this advice needs to go to AA for dating.
Some of the advice in this book is overtly (scarily) manipulative. For example: Attraction Principle #18; 'Always give the appearance that he has plenty of space. It gets him to drop his guard." Yikes!! Run!
There is an entire chapter on sex comparing sex to a candy shop and using jujube's as the marker of how far men want to go.
I like Attraction Principle #24 which reads like a Zen Koan, turning backwards and inside on itself:
Every man wants to have sex firstwhether he wants a girlfriendis something he thinks about later,By not giving him what he wants up front,you become his girlfriend without his realizing it. (page 60)#craaaaaazy
Other principles are also worth quoting, printing, framing:
Principle 42: (page 96)
When you are always happyand he is always free to goHe feels lucky.
Page 136 lays relationships into an equation:
Nagging = A woman who is predictable = A feeling of obligation = Decreased lust
Indifference = Less predictable response = Renewed interest
Attraction Principle #86
The more independent you are of him
The more interested he will be.
Attraction Principle #93:
Once you start laughing you start healingThe end of the book left me breathless. I wish the author stated this earlier; I wish there were a campaign for this issue. Everyone needs to learn this, live it, teach it. It summarizes the goal of finding a partner who has a life, who has their own dreams and who will not drown you in their neediness.
Here it is:
Attraction Principle #100
The most attractive quality of all is dignity.
I liked this book A LOT and I can't wait to talk about it in class on Monday*
Saturday, September 6, 2014
100 Book Project: Book #71 - I Call her Hairwoman.
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
PROLOGUE:
One peek inside the cover got me super excited. As you read this I don't think you can truly imagine the pile of 60+ books my students have assigned me but that I haven't read yet. I know there are two more military autobiographies, a book by LeBron James, more Nicholas Sparks, a book called 2012, and a few books that can't be shorter than 700 pages of tiny text and look as exciting as poking myself in the eye.
This book was assigned to me by Allison M, the same student who lent me "the curious tale of the dog in the night," a student whose taste in books is so good that I would often ask her to go to my book cabinet and pick out the next book for me.
While many of these books have been positive experiences, some of them have been torture (I'm talking to you Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, 5 books in one!) and it helps to have someone navigate the book order with me.I sincerely hope the universe creates a great job for Allison where she is paid to recommend books to people.
Besides that, since she's been so helpful, I get to write about her and remind the world for every one blooper they see on my feed (ex: Pretest: What's the name of our National Anthem? One student answered: "Born Free") there are ten or more amazingly prepared students who are thirsty to learn as much as they can so they can become who they wish to be.
Speak is a great book; it belongs on your shelf by A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Unwind, by The Fault in Our Stars, The Virgin Diaries, Dogs of Babel and other books that tell raw stories that move your heart.
I don't want to ruin this book but I can't write this review without spoiling the essence of the plot.
Go get this book and read it and definitely give it to your sister/friend/daughter/niece/mom.
When you're done, come back and read this review, OK?
*************************************
Review (CAUTION: Spoilers ahead!!)
I completely fall in love with fourteen year old Melody on page #6 as she is walking through her first day.
This book covers the span of one school year - four grading sessions - as we follow Melody entering High School and finding herself outcast and bullied. Apparently she is to blame for calling the cops on the coolest party that summer, leading to several arrests.
None of her friends acknowledge her, and no one protects her from shoves, pulls and verbal jabs.
Melody won't speak. She stares at the ground, into space, and thinks funny wonderfully endearing thoughts but nothing comes out her mouth
Halfway through this book I realize Melody must be suffering from PTSD and depression; she is withdrawn numb and sad, rarely washes her hair or clothes, never speaks, skips classes and is failing out of school.
I hope Melody doesn't kill herself.
She spirals lower and lower with no one to pull her back up because the only "friend" she has for most of the book is Heather, a lonely self-centered transfer from Ohio who ultimately "breaks up" with Melody because she is so boring.
About halfway into the book the narrator recounts what really happened at the party.
She had her first drink, she was standing outside, and older student named Andy Evans raped her.
Melody tried to scream for help but she couldn't and no one helped her but when he walked away she called 911 and tried to say she'd been raped but she couldn't speak. Several teens saw Melody make the call and so everyone knew who to blame when the cops came and broke the party up.
Towards the end of the book Melody's (ex) longtime best friend Rachel has a huge crush on the guy who raped Melody. They haven't talked since that awful summer night, and while Melody stings from Rachel's overt scorn she still reaches out to her.
They almost talk but it turns to notes passed back and forth in the library where Melody explaining what had happened that night and Rachel responds with shock, asking supportive compassionate questions:
That crucial selfless act of admitting what had happened gave Melody the courage to speak up, well not speak, but to write something on the bathroom wall.
Right, ok, pretend that's cool. The book is set before the era of snapchat and kik and askfm, so writing on the wall was culturally accepted-ish.
On a bathroom wall filled with lists and quotes and cartoons, Melody writes Guys to Stay Away From: Andy Evans. Days later other girls have added a bunch of comments including "He's a creep!" "He should be locked up" and "Call the cops"
Rachel ignores Melody's warning and goes to Prom with Andy Evans and guess what? He's all over her like a crazy octopus. She's grossed out by him and leaves him. Yayyyy Rachel.
Just when the book was having a nice ending, Andy the rapist surprises Melody, locking the two of them in a dark closet. He growls at her that he knows she's been spreading lies....
One peek inside the cover got me super excited. As you read this I don't think you can truly imagine the pile of 60+ books my students have assigned me but that I haven't read yet. I know there are two more military autobiographies, a book by LeBron James, more Nicholas Sparks, a book called 2012, and a few books that can't be shorter than 700 pages of tiny text and look as exciting as poking myself in the eye.
This book was assigned to me by Allison M, the same student who lent me "the curious tale of the dog in the night," a student whose taste in books is so good that I would often ask her to go to my book cabinet and pick out the next book for me.
While many of these books have been positive experiences, some of them have been torture (I'm talking to you Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, 5 books in one!) and it helps to have someone navigate the book order with me.I sincerely hope the universe creates a great job for Allison where she is paid to recommend books to people.
Besides that, since she's been so helpful, I get to write about her and remind the world for every one blooper they see on my feed (ex: Pretest: What's the name of our National Anthem? One student answered: "Born Free") there are ten or more amazingly prepared students who are thirsty to learn as much as they can so they can become who they wish to be.
Speak is a great book; it belongs on your shelf by A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Unwind, by The Fault in Our Stars, The Virgin Diaries, Dogs of Babel and other books that tell raw stories that move your heart.
I don't want to ruin this book but I can't write this review without spoiling the essence of the plot.
Go get this book and read it and definitely give it to your sister/friend/daughter/niece/mom.
When you're done, come back and read this review, OK?
*************************************
Review (CAUTION: Spoilers ahead!!)
I completely fall in love with fourteen year old Melody on page #6 as she is walking through her first day.
"My English teacher has no face. She has uncombed stringy hair that droops on her shoulders. The hair is black from her part to her ears, and then neon orange to the frizzy ends. I can't decide if she had pissed off her hairdresser or is morphing into a monarch butterfly. I call her Hairwoman."
This book covers the span of one school year - four grading sessions - as we follow Melody entering High School and finding herself outcast and bullied. Apparently she is to blame for calling the cops on the coolest party that summer, leading to several arrests.
None of her friends acknowledge her, and no one protects her from shoves, pulls and verbal jabs.
Melody won't speak. She stares at the ground, into space, and thinks funny wonderfully endearing thoughts but nothing comes out her mouth
Halfway through this book I realize Melody must be suffering from PTSD and depression; she is withdrawn numb and sad, rarely washes her hair or clothes, never speaks, skips classes and is failing out of school.
I hope Melody doesn't kill herself.
She spirals lower and lower with no one to pull her back up because the only "friend" she has for most of the book is Heather, a lonely self-centered transfer from Ohio who ultimately "breaks up" with Melody because she is so boring.
About halfway into the book the narrator recounts what really happened at the party.
She had her first drink, she was standing outside, and older student named Andy Evans raped her.
Melody tried to scream for help but she couldn't and no one helped her but when he walked away she called 911 and tried to say she'd been raped but she couldn't speak. Several teens saw Melody make the call and so everyone knew who to blame when the cops came and broke the party up.
Towards the end of the book Melody's (ex) longtime best friend Rachel has a huge crush on the guy who raped Melody. They haven't talked since that awful summer night, and while Melody stings from Rachel's overt scorn she still reaches out to her.
They almost talk but it turns to notes passed back and forth in the library where Melody explaining what had happened that night and Rachel responds with shock, asking supportive compassionate questions:
why didn't you tell me?
(I couldn't)
Does your Mom know?
(no)
Did you get pregnant?
(no)
Are you OK??????
(kinda....)
WHO DID IT?????
(Andy Evans)Rachel loses her sh**t and calls her a jealous liar and a twisted freak and all that good stuff.
That crucial selfless act of admitting what had happened gave Melody the courage to speak up, well not speak, but to write something on the bathroom wall.
Right, ok, pretend that's cool. The book is set before the era of snapchat and kik and askfm, so writing on the wall was culturally accepted-ish.
On a bathroom wall filled with lists and quotes and cartoons, Melody writes Guys to Stay Away From: Andy Evans. Days later other girls have added a bunch of comments including "He's a creep!" "He should be locked up" and "Call the cops"
Rachel ignores Melody's warning and goes to Prom with Andy Evans and guess what? He's all over her like a crazy octopus. She's grossed out by him and leaves him. Yayyyy Rachel.
Just when the book was having a nice ending, Andy the rapist surprises Melody, locking the two of them in a dark closet. He growls at her that he knows she's been spreading lies....
"I never raped anybody. I don't have to. You wanted it just as bad as I did. But your feelings got hurt and now every girl in school is talking about me like I'm a pervert... what's wrong, ugly, you jealous? Can't get a date?...Oh no you're not going anywhere. You're not going to scream. You didn't scream before...."I would tell you what happens next, but I've already told you enough and you need to hear Melody's story in her own words.
100 Book Project: Book #70 - Sheer Abandon
Sheer Abandon by Penny Vincenzi
The cover of this book shows a woman in a strappy slinky gown, barefooted, sitting on a suitcase. That image, plus the title made me expect this book would be a romantic dirty romp.
I was wrong. This smart book untangles the stories of four people: three women and Kate, the one who is trying to figure which of the three women is the mother who abandoned her.
For some reason this plot is familiar, I'm sure I've read it and seen it, in fact I think Phoebe Cates was in the movie based on the book whose title eludes me. In that book the "searcher" was angry at her birth mother; in this book Kate's emotional life was a lot more mature and interesting.
I've never heard of Penny Vincenzi before and now I'm a fan. This 620 page book evoked the thoughtfulness of Jodi Picoult but the characters each had an edge that made them sharply 3D.
Explaining this thick plot would be like summarizing an entire season of Grey's Anatomy to someone who doesn't even know which doctor's survived last year's plane crash. In reflection, I"d say Sheer Abandon is ultimately about how small acts of kindness and bravery change the paths of many lives. The title doesn't quite match the story for me, but maybe later, when I'm not concentrating, it will suddenly make sense. I hope so.
I know this review was rather brief, but I've already finished Book #71 and it's one of the best, most powerful books I've ever read and I'm in an excited hurry to write about it.
The cover of this book shows a woman in a strappy slinky gown, barefooted, sitting on a suitcase. That image, plus the title made me expect this book would be a romantic dirty romp.
I was wrong. This smart book untangles the stories of four people: three women and Kate, the one who is trying to figure which of the three women is the mother who abandoned her.
For some reason this plot is familiar, I'm sure I've read it and seen it, in fact I think Phoebe Cates was in the movie based on the book whose title eludes me. In that book the "searcher" was angry at her birth mother; in this book Kate's emotional life was a lot more mature and interesting.
I've never heard of Penny Vincenzi before and now I'm a fan. This 620 page book evoked the thoughtfulness of Jodi Picoult but the characters each had an edge that made them sharply 3D.
Explaining this thick plot would be like summarizing an entire season of Grey's Anatomy to someone who doesn't even know which doctor's survived last year's plane crash. In reflection, I"d say Sheer Abandon is ultimately about how small acts of kindness and bravery change the paths of many lives. The title doesn't quite match the story for me, but maybe later, when I'm not concentrating, it will suddenly make sense. I hope so.
I know this review was rather brief, but I've already finished Book #71 and it's one of the best, most powerful books I've ever read and I'm in an excited hurry to write about it.
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